What an excellent topic for this week’s discussion post. I agree with the contrasts described in friendship and romance. In most cases, friendship is a more spiritual and reasonable type of relationship. Whereas love is an out of control rush of emotions that derive from physical attraction and lust. Numerous people, including myself, look for the physical attraction when we are searching for love. Friendship is more of a mental stimulation that is desired. The prompt quoted Pluto saying, “intimate love, can inform both our friendships and romantic relationships.” Even though his statement is correct, who’s to say that the influence of intimate love isn’t harmful. In my experience when sex is involved in a friendship, the friendship becomes more about sex versus the connection. Aristotle stated, “if the erotic attraction dips or falls away, then the friendship is at risk.”(p.61) So many times, this is the case when people incorporate sex into friendship.
I believe one gains the notion that marriage should be based on friendship first through trial and error. By this, I mean, I have seen many people get married before they truly get to know someone, and it tends to have terrible results. It may sound bad to say, but love is a try and fail equation, and there are so many variables to the equation that only come out with time. You need time to build a friendship, and with that time, you can bring many problems to the surface before engagement or marriage. This will save many wasted feelings on someone who is not compatible. Now, it is possible to have a successful marriage without being in a strong friendship first, but in my observation, it is scarce, and to me, it’s rareness makes sense. A primary bond should be the baseline before anything more serious and intimate. You have to know the person’s ins and outs before you can take the step of commitment.
Vernon, M. (2010). The meaning of friendship. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan.